I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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