My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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