you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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