I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
