using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
