I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
We have started to decorate penises.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
