Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
