stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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