Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize