So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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