If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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