i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
