i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Princesses don't give blow jobs
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
