I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
i need some magic done to my vagina
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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