Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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