I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
