His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
