As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
We had sex on a dog bed..
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
