Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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