I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
