If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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