I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
is that a dick in a sweater?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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