Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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