3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
