Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
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