I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
