Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
