Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
