I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Congratulations! We have a period
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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