Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
