I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
