Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
