RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
The struggles of a small town man whore
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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