He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
