your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize