I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
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