Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
