I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Randomize
