His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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