I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
