It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
