yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
