i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
not ubering you a puppy
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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