he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
