It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
