'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
