I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
