dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
