I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
