some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
