She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Randomize
