He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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