i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
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