I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
