went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
