I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
